The Heavy Music Club
by Tastychainsaws
Summary: A mysterious transfer student arrives with her guitar and wins the heart and minds of Sakuragaoka students with her coolness. It's up to Tsumugi to expose this transfer student as what she really is... a nerd. Mugi sets out on a fun adventure full of heavy metal, nerdisms, and a heavy scissor shaped sword that keeps breaking everything.
1. Cast Iron Dice

**The Heavy Music Club**

**A Story By Tastychainsaws**

**Part One**

**Cast-Iron Dice**

"_Way of ways, and in a way I'm heading toward the sky!_

_We never will die, we never know why..._

_Just never hold back now, and I'll be happier still!_

_Oh! Everybody will know, I am so happy now!_"

-_Planet of the Apes _by _The Devin Townsend Project_

(_**Author's Notes/Forward- **__This is just a fun little story I want to write to get away from the really dark and unfun things I usually write. This is a tribute to nerd culture, heavy metal, and just giving no fucks and having fun. So read this, give no fucks, and have fun!)_

**1**

The concept of escapism was an interesting thing to someone like me. I had never really thought about being anyone other than myself, since I considered my life to be rather wonderful. Video games, anime, and role-playing games were all things that simply didn't interest me as I felt no need to live out a virtual vicarious fantasy. However, when Sawa-chan suggested one of these things as a social activity, I was positively intrigued. The idea of pretending to be a magical bearded wizard fighting dragons while rolling dice seemed positively weird alone, but with friends? It almost sounded fun.

Now, I'm getting ahead of myself, and don't worry, this is all important. My story is a bit of an odd one, where trouble came to Sakuragaoka High School. I think part of the reason I didn't need to go on pretend adventures was because I was dragged into something of a real one. Not that crazy make-believe story from before something a bit more down to earth... kind of. I suppose when trouble calls, there is no one more heroic than Kotobuki Tsumugi to deal with it. In the end, I possessed a certain set of skills and traits I had not even realized that helped me save the day.

Our story starts with dice. Not the normal kind with little dots and six sides used for the kind of board games me and Sumire would play. No, these were dice with all sorts of shapes and sizes, and I was already fascinated. This all started when Sawa-chan told us she dug up an old game that the first and legendary incarnation of the Light Music Club would play together. She said it was only natural that the newest generation have a taste of it too. It was a pretend game of dice, monsters, and treasure. She also said with some beer and good friends, it could be about the most fun thing there was. I did not doubt that one bit, but I didn't need beer to have a good time.

I decided to come into this prepared, as not to let my friends down. A little internet research told me of a cute little shop down town only an hour away that sold all sorts of peripherals for this game and many others. I was very excited to explore this new place.

Upon dressing to leave, my mother confronted me, curious as to where I was going. I found the answer particularly strange and difficult to explain because I wasn't sure entirely myself. She did not share my enthusiasm for this venture, and urged me to dress in something a little more 'casual' for that part of town. She also urged me to carry that bottle of pepper-spray she had gotten me for my eighteenth birthday.

I set out prepared for adventure both pretend and possibly real. I was dressed in a pair of blue jeans and a green, collared t-shirt. I took the train and a bus across town, comfortably listening to Mozart's Requiem K.626 among other pieces of his. It was almost hard not to fall asleep to it, but the incredibly expensive decaf veggie white chocolate mocha I'd bought along the way was keeping me going.

Downtown was bustling with the usual activity of people so nondescript they may as well have not even been colored in. In my jeans and shirt, I felt like I blended in quite well save my striking blonde hair and general northern European features. I was lucky to not have inherited all of my mother's genetics or else I would be a head taller than everyone in the country. I was not sure I could go through life like that comfortably.

I found the place following the map I had doodled up for myself on a napkin. It was right between what I thought looked like a gay bar, and a place that sold ashtrays shaped like kitten paws. I was torn between whether the latter was a sort of propaganda device set up to convince the youth to pick up smoking so they could justify purchasing these ashtrays or a shop with so little demand and business that it was really a front for black market Yakuza operations dealt out of the back. Either way I was deep into foreign and potentially enemy territory.

_I'm having so much fun_, I thought. The store I was looking for was conveniently named _Friendly Local Game Store_, and I hoped the title was not deceiving.

The inside was certainly more than I had imagined, even though my limited imagination had not pictured much at all. It was a small, quaint place decorated with circular tables and chairs with all the walls covered in shelves that displayed all manners of books and little toys for countless pretend games. What confused me the most was that all these toys came incomplete, and required the buyer to not only put them together but purchase multiple expensive paints to finish them. I felt capitalism had fallen apart somewhere here, and it made me a tiny bit uncomfortable. Over the speakers, the song _Gone Guru _by _Lifeseeker_ was playing, and a couple patrons across the store were bobbing their heads to it.

They also had trading cards; there was a single one for a game I did not know sat on display. It had a picture of a dark flower and the price listed was over three-hundred thousand yen. I was beginning to wonder if there was a large joke going on here that I was not in on.

"Need help finding anything?" A young-looking man behind the counter asked me. He was dressed well, but looked a little bit like the shut-in type.

"Oh, maybe, I'll let you know," I replied, when my eyes found just what I needed. It was a large display of dice of all shapes and sizes. Sawako-sensei told us these were the essentials of the game, so I had come here in search of my own. There must have been thousands of them! They came in at least a dozen shapes and sizes. Not just that, but the variety of colors was incredible as well. There we solid colors, marble patterns, splattered patterns, leopard patterns, and ones with Roman numerals. I had never seen anything like this, and I wished someone like Ricchan were here to explain it all to me.

Next to me was another girl perusing dice. She was an interesting short, wearing shredded jeans with fancy boots and studded wristbands. Her tank top was black with a neat little orange and white design that kind of reminded me of the yin and yang symbol. Above it were orange and splattery letters that said _Decapitated _in English. I wondered if that was a movie or rock and roll band.

"Excuse me," I got her attention, happy that a girl my age was here. The only others in the store were slightly overweight men playing with little toys of guys in bulky armor and big guns fighting each other. Two of them were arguing over something called codexes. "Are you familiar with this kind of stuff? My friends and I are looking to start playing a role-playing game and I don't know what kind of dice I need."

"I, uhh..." she turned away, looking quite shy but cute in her own way. Her hair was long, nearly waist length, and her face was decorated with dark make up. "...d-don't know. T-Two of each... four six-siders for character creation."

"Oh! Thank you!" I chirped, trying to tilt my head to meet her gaze. "Have we met before?" I asked her.

"N-No," she continued to stammer, but turned her head towards me enough so that her eyes met mine. "Do you go to Sakuragaoka High by any chance?"

I nodded with a smile, "Why yes I do. I've never seen you before, are you a transfer student?"

"I..." She looked away, and suddenly hurried away making for the door in a hustle with her head down. I was awfully confused, but just assumed she was shy. If I saw her around school, I would attempt to be friendly again. If that theory of her being a transfer student was correct, she may not even have any friends there yet. The idea saddened me. I blocked out sad thoughts by thinking of inviting her to our club and seeing if she was interested in our musical fun. I was sure anyone with a shirt that said _Decapitated _on it could use tea, sweets, and light music.

I paused to wonder just how 'light music' could be defined and gathered up dice in pretty colors. Using a felt bag that nearby, I found green ones, pink ones, blue ones, one that had a kitten paw in place of a six. Happy with my purchase, I went to find the clerk to make my purchase with daddy's credit card caught my eye. On the far side of the store, previously obscured by a neckbearded, overweight male, was a glass display about chest high. In that display was the most peculiar thing I had seen in at least an hour after that man who looked like a lady on the bus. It was a single scissor blade, bright red.

With a cheerful sort of gait, I sauntered over and inspected it further. It was stylized in a cool way that caught my attention, and the tag said it was from some anime I hadn't watched. Fully metal, and being sold at an exuberant price, I decided this would be the perfect accessory for getting into character for our upcoming game. It would be even better for cutting hair if I found the other part of the blade; and had very large hands.

Thankfully it came with a strap so that one could carry it on their back. While the applications of this seemed awfully limited to me, I supposed it could make an interesting accessory... at least until my shoulder hurt too much to carry it any longer.

I waved my hand to the clerk that had spoken to me briefly, and he approached me. In my usual friendly demeanor, I pointed at the weird red scissor sword and said, "I wish to buy this."

"Uh," he blinked. He looked at the sword. He looked at me. "_This_ product? Wow, I mean, uh, put the price tag on it this but we didn't think anyone would buy something so, just kind of... _dumb_ if I can be honest."

"You think it's dumb?" I tilted my head and suddenly felt bad for the large unwieldy piece of metal. It was like a puppy at the pound nobody wanted to take home. A fat, silly looking puppy incapable of love or pooping. My heart went out of it.

The clerk nodded, "Yeaaahh, um, you were looking to buy those dice?"

I nodded, "And that sword. I think it's a sword. Is it a sword? Because I have a license to own a weapon."

He stared at me in disbelief. I nodded, being that father's family believed every Kotobuki should be armed and trained. It made sense given our lineage. I reached into my purse to fetch my wallet but he raised his hand and shook his head.

"No, no, you don't need to show me," he said. "I don't think this thing could be classified as a weapon. I'm not sure it even has an edge and... God, getting that thing into the display case was hard enough. Do you have a car? Or someone you can call to help you carry it?"

I shook my head and smiled, "Oh no, I'm certain I can carry it. It doesn't look that heavy."

He gave me a strange look and unlocked the glass case with a key from his pocket, and lowered the front panel. He gestured for me to try lifting it. I grabbed the blade in one hand, finding it not sharp at all, and the circular sort of handle by the other. With a little grunt I picked it up out of the case and held it up against my shoulder with one hand. It wasn't too heavy, thirty kilograms at the most. With a strap, it could carry this easily.

"I..." he stared at me in disbelief. "...do... do you want me to ring that up for you?"

I nodded, "That sounds lovely."

We both turned around and I severely underestimated how low that glass case was. I winced as a symphony of shattering glass greeted my ears. With the sword over my shoulder, I had accidentally knocked the tip of it into the case while turning around.

"Oh no," I gasped. "I-I can pay for this!"

**2**

"_I say have it your way_

_I stay heavy for my god!_"

-_Planet of the Apes _by _The Devin Townsend Project_

As I rode the bus home with my dice and red scissor blade beside me, I briefly thought on my monthly allowance. While Daddy gave me a lot of money to do as a pleased with, I was beginning to worry that I had gone through most of it in one day. There was at least a week left in this month too! The dice were pocket change. The scissor blade was a little more, but the broken case, the broken glass door, the broken windows around the door, and emotional damage to various scared customers had put me closer to the red than I would have liked. On top of that, everyone on the bus was going out of their way to sit at least three seats away from me.

I could not understand their problems, but was not letting it get to me. I drowned out the bus and train ride home with some Bach and frowned as I saw the weight and edge of the scissor sword had done irreparable damage to the seat next to me it had been resting on. I left a few yen notes on my seat as an apology and hoped the homeless wouldn't steal it.

When my commute ended I made the short walk home to the estate. Both cars, the ones Mother and Daddy were driving this month at least, were gone from the driveway so I knew I was the only one home. I made my way up to my room thinking about what I was going to have for dinner. First I felt like I needed a bath. In my room, I set my new purchases onto my bed and was greeted by a meow.

Why, it was my pet cat, Pickles, the Cat. I had met him during some previous adventure I was not the main character that felt like it had happened years ago. He was not a particularly nice cat, some breed of Maine Coon and demon that I had met somewhere in Tokyo. We had gone on several adventures together, and he served a voice of reason for me.

"Meow," he said.

"No, I don't know what it is," I replied, looking at my new scissor sword.

"Meow," he asked.

"It seemed neat, and it needed a home," I answered, meeting his incredulous cat gaze. His gaze was so sharp it could pin things to that notice board we had down stairs that was filled with the names and faces of people Daddy needed to make 'disappear'.

"Meow."

"Don't you say that about..." my voice trailed off as I needed a moment to think of a name, "Scissor-chan! She's your new sister and you two are not that alike. How would you feel if I just left you where I found you? On display for the entire world!?"

"Meow."

I looked away and sighed, shaking my head, "You're right. I didn't mean that. I lashed out and that's not fair to you. You came first, Pickles the Cat."

We hugged in apology and I let him stay to bond with Scissor-chan while I went to take a bath. Clean, warm, and cozy I went to make a character sheet using internet help for the RPG session tomorrow. Sawako-sensei had given us directions on how to find the pdf files we needed. I printed off the character sheet and found the pdf on my laptop.

"Hmm... name..." I muttered to myself, and wrote down while speaking aloud, "_Lady Mugi-chan the Brave_. Species?" After looking through the rulebook on my laptop I decided on 'Space Dog' for the +2 bonus on smelling space bacon. I had a feeling this would come in handy. "Let's see... Profession? _Sith Lord, _or _Paladin_? Definitely _Sith Lord_."

From what I understood role-playing in this fashion was a form of collaborative make-believe storytelling in a social atmosphere. Dice were used for resolving conflicts and contested actions, as Sawako-sensei explained. However, looking through this rulebook and the content provided, I was frankly unable to paint a picture in my mind as to what sort of narrative could be possibly told here. Still, I shrugged and wrote in the stats for my character's dual M240 machine guns and the wrist-mounted Shiba Inu canon I also had. The Shiba Inus were also ninjas.

Having filled out all the details of my proficiencies in various forms of cooking eggs and cutting onions, I fell asleep at my laptop on my bed. Pickles the Cat curled up at my feet and my sword remained where it was because it was a sword.

I awoke the next morning to a regular breakfast of regular bacon (not space bacon) with eggs, toast, rice, and Evan Williams. With that, I dressed, readied my school belongings, waved goodbye to my Mother and left before she could notice the thirty kilogram red slice of metal I was carrying with me. I took the tram and bus as per norm, provoking countless strange glares. I was beginning to wonder if this was a social blunder I was making carrying this scissor sword around. It wasn't fair to Scissor-chan, she just wanted to be with her mother! (Me.)

A weird part of me accused myself for rationalizing my outrageous purchase of this thing and the damage it had caused so far. At least now it wasn't hurting anyone as it heavily rested on my back by the strap beside my heavy keyboard as well. I was feeling a little back heavy.

I made my way to homeroom as many eyes were upon me. I was enjoying the attention somewhat, and entered our classroom to greet my friends. I wondered what sort of characters they had made.

"So, I was saying," Ritsu continued a conversation I had only heard part of. "A tamed fox just doesn't make a good pet. They bite, scream and poop even more than regular pets."

"But they're just so cute!" Yui argued. "I sometimes see a fox out in the woods by my house. Mio-chan, don't you think a cute fox would be the perfect pet!?"

Mio did not seem to want to be involved in this, "I don't really think you can just go out and grab a fox to- _Mugi what is that!?_"

"Certainly not a fox," I replied and joined them.

"Uh," Ritsu looked at me. "Mugi... I don't want to alarm you, but there's something on your back."

Yui tilted her head and asked, "Isn't that from an anime?"

I shrugged, "I don't know, but I got it at the same place that sold dice! Isn't it cool!?"

"Cool..." Mio repeated that word and gave me a long hard look, like a mother having to tell their preschool son that wearing lipstick did not make him a pretty girl, "...Mugi, I don't suppose you could have left that at home?"

"Isn't it heavy?" Ritsu."

"Extremely," I nodded and smiled.

"Mugi-chan, doesn't your back hurt from carrying that and your keyboard?" Yui asked me.

"Incredibly," I nodded and smiled.

Mio bit her lip and asked, "Want to bring that up to the clubroom and drop it off with your keyboard?"

"Incredibly," I nodded and smiled.

I got by with a little help from my friends, and tried with a little help from my friends to get up to the highest level of the school. Along the way, Mio simply suggested I didn't carry around the scissor sword, but at this point I was too far in to just give up on this. This was not my mind trying to justify and rationalize this outrageous purchase. I was simply going to leave it in the clubroom since I could list off at least three teachers who wouldn't think this thing was as neat as I did.

Up in the clubroom I sighed in relief and dropped the sword on a chair and winced as the weight demolished the chair. A lot more gently, I set my keyboard down. I was beginning to realize that Scissor-chan was becoming a force of destruction. I needed to housebreak her somehow, although I was not sure where to begin.

"So..." Ritsu spoke up, gathering a broom, dustpan, and the garbage can. "Sawa-chan wants to play that game after school. Did everyone make characters?"

Yui nodded and replied as she helped clean up my mess, "I made a character using the _Holy Diver _profession. I have harpoons, and a bonus to riding tigers and fighting vampires."

Mio held the dustpan as chair debris was swept into it and I spent like five minutes trying to remember how spell 'debris'. She answered, "I made a wizard, daughter of Lord Akiyama of the land of Sakuragyfli."

Ritsu frowned and teased Mio, "No offense but that's really lame. Sounds like something out of a story that totally sucks."

Mio frowned back, "Oh yeah, what did you make!?"

Ritsu puffed out her chest in pride, "A _Renegade of Funk_, with a whole bunch of points in dancing and jamming. Moogs, what did you make?"

I smiled at that silly pet name and replied as I hefted the remains of the chair into the trash, "You'll see! I spent a lot of time on this, and I'm sure it's going to be very fun!"

"Probably a _Sith Lord_, it fits her character," Ritsu whispered to Yui, who nodded in agreement.

Mio shook her head, "No way, she'd be a _Paladin_ who would win over my character in an unrealistic manner. Then the villain would kill me in a tragic way, and it'd be sad but the story would never end after when-"

Ritsu groaned loudly, "That sounds like the worst thing ever. Look at the time everyone, class is about to start. Mugi, try not to break anything else with your, uh, scissor thing."

I nodded and set Scissor-chan down on our couch, and cringed as the blade dug into the cushions with a tearing noise and the point scraped the hardwood. This sword and I were just not getting along. I gathered my things and we journeyed down to our classroom like a group of adventurers. I wondered what Azusa was up to, but then a thought crossed my mind.

She said she had been practicing guitar for something... something important. I think at the time I had been talking to Yui about what was the best _Hendrix_ song and not been listening like I should have been. Once again I was proven to be a horrible person, but I remembered snatches of what she had been saying. Something about a festival.

"The culture festival!" I blurted out, remembering now.

"Yes, that's next week," Sawako nodded, and added, "Right now, we're in class."

"Oh yeah," I replied, getting lost in thought. We needed to play a show as a recruitment/conscription project for new members. That Jazz Music Club kept stealing potential members, so I really needed to think of something good to win the hearts and minds of our school. I wondered what Scissor-chan could do to help. I could slice my keyboard in half on stage, but when my friend Miyuki convinced me to do that in Middle-school I was scolded by Daddy. I wondered what that old Thespian Extraordinaire, Miyuki, was up to these days. Probably nothing good.

That didn't matter much, all I had to do today was get through the school day and-  
"Oh!" Sawako-sensei-chan-sama spoke up, "That reminds me, whatever thing I was previously talking about, we have a new transfer student. Everyone, meet Himizawa Eiyoko. Her and her sister in a younger year have just moved here, please be kind and friendly to her!"

From her desk in the back I hadn't even seen stood a girl with long black hair and a glare that was incredibly condescending towards everyone around her. She bowed once, and sat back down. Suddenly, I realized I had seen this girl. It was the girl at that shop! I remembered her as being a little shy, but not unfriendly, but here she was looking quite mean and scary. Her skin was pale like the sun avoided her, and under her eyes were dark circles of eyeliner and shadow. She reminded me of a raccoon with all the same charm as one of those silly little creatures. Her nails were painted black as well.

She faded into obscurity as nobody was really interested in getting to know her. During our breaks and lunch, she simply listened to music loudly from her headphones that sounded like a blur of hellish static and double bass drums. I wanted to get a chance to introduce myself, but her unfriendly demeanor surrounded her like a swarm of flies that obscured the sun. I was beginning to think her shirt that said _Decapitated _meant nothing friendly at all.

But after school was our game time. We were going to have fun, and I could worry about making friends with Himizawa later.

**TO BE CONTINUED**

(_**Author's Notes/Other Silly Shit**_**- **_I hoped you all liked this! I love seeing reviews, and will reply to any that aren't guess ones. If you have comments or criticisms, please leave them! I'm excited to tell this quick, fun story and indulge in heavy metal nerdisms! I can only apologize for the many music and lyric references that don't make sense if you don't know the source, as well as the self-depreciation humor that some may not get if they haven't read previous stories of mine._

_The story itself is inspired by a certain Devin Townsend album, as the man has been my single greatest creative influence for over a year. I'm channeling that inspiration and influence into something positive instead of the bestiality child rape of my last story._

This space is dedicated to thanking editors.


	2. In My Scissor Sword I Trust

**The Heavy Music Club**

**A Story By Some Stupid Asshole**

**Part Two**

**In My Scissor Sword I Trust**

"_Rise my brothers, we are blessed by steel!_

_IN MY SWORD I TRUST!_

_Arm yourselves, the truth shall be revealed!_

_IN MY SWORD I TRUST!_

_Tyrants and cowards for metal you will kneel!_

_IN MY SWORD I TRUST!_

_'Til justice and reason will wield!_

_IN MY SWORD I TRUST!"_

-_In My Sword I Trust _by _Ensiferum_

**1**

"It's too quiet," Ricchan complained as we went along with our game, Sawa-chan at the helm of running this show. I also remembered honorifics, so that was neat too. "Can we get some music going?"

"Oh, wouldn't some Helvi Leiviskä be wonderful?" I suggested. "Her symphony number three is very uplifting, I think. Oh, what about Mika Pohjola?"

Sawa-chan shook her head and explained with the sound of her fists against the table, "This is classic role-playing with dice, miniatures, and Mountain Dew!" This was only partially true since we didn't have any miniatures. To represent the field of battle, we had a collection of guitar picks, a worn out pencil of eyeliner, a battery, and a copy of Alanis Morisette's _Jagged Little Pill _on cassette. Naturally the latter represented large boss enemies. Sawa-chan continued, "In times like these, it is only natural that we play the most fitting of music?"

"_Led Zeppelin?_" Mio-chan asked. "_Kashmir_ sounds like a fitting song for a sort of epic journey. What about _Hendrix_?"

Yui-chan nodded at that, "_A Merman I Should Turn to Be _sounds just as good too, doesn't it Mio-chan?"

She smiled at Yui-chan, "Yes! Oh, what about _Blue Oyster Cult's Fire of Unknown Origin _album? Micheal Moorcock helped write lyrics for that."

"Who's that?" Yui-chan asked.

"He wrote the _Elric of Melniboné _fantasy series in the 70's," Mio-chan explained, matter-of-factly.

Sawa-chan sighed, "Come on, forget all that great music and interesting literature! If it's role-playing games, it's either _Blind Guardian _or _Dragonforce_!"

"Is neither an option?" Ricchan asked.

Mio-chan spoke up, "_Blind Guardian _also did a song based off the _Elric_ series. I've never listened to the band myself."

"_Nightfall in Middle-Earth!_" Sawa-chan exclaimed. "We listened to this on repeat during my last year here, and so will you."

"Could be worse," Mio-chan shrugged and sipped her Mountain Dew, wincing at the horrible taste.

"I'm having fun either way," I chirped and sipped at my own soda, and gagged on the wretched taste. I gave the rest to Scissor-chan, who was sticking up out of the hardwood beside me, doing horrific damage to the flooring. Scissor-chan was not thirsty.

So we went with _Blind Guardian _against popular vote, and returned to the game. Sawa-chan cleared her throat and reminded us just where we were, "Okay, so Mugi-chan, now _Darth Nox_ has infiltrated the lair of Cult of Irony while Mio and Ritsu are sneaking around out back. Yui has distracted the guards long enough, but her tiger is beginning to draw suspicion."

"Did I manage to sneak my machineguns in under my robes?" I asked.

"No," she replied. "But you still have your double-bladed orange lightsaber and Shiba canons. One of the cultist approaches you and says in a nasally voice, '_Did you like, totally see that person out there with that tiger? Tigers are totally lame, aren't they? Like who would want a tiger?'_"

I paused, having to think on this. Sawa-chan's role-playing was frankly very bad and this was not ironic at all so I was not sure how to respond. Then I remembered I was a Sith Lord and said, "I wave my hand in their face and say, '_You will think tigers are cool._'"

Sawa-chan replied, "The Ironic Cultist falls for it and leaves you alone, but the path to the King of Irony is still paved with many challenges. You won't be able to make it without your friends."

"Hmm," I said aloud, "I better do what I can to cause a diversion, to get my friends in to help me!"

Sawa-chan nodded and gave me time to think, then looked at Mio-chan and Ricchan, "While Mugi, I mean, _Darth Nox_ is trying to figure out a way to create a distraction, a horde of were-squirrels come out of the sewer pipes and attack."

"Were-squirrels!?" Mio-chan gasped. "I thought it was noon and a waning crescent moon!"

Ricchan giggled, "Darth Dark, that's silly."

I huffed, "Don't tease my cool Sith name!"

"These are super were-squirrels!" Sawa-chan exclaimed, waving her arms in emphasis. I began to wonder if she was drunk. It made sense since I saw her routinely take sips out of a thermos throughout the day in the corner and shiver. "One of them shoots eye lasers at Ricchan's character..." she rolled a handful of dice and shook her head, "Dealing enough damage to turn her into ash. Now they're looking at you Mio, readying their acorn grenades."

"No saving throw?" Ricchan pouted.

"This isn't fourth edition!" Sawa-chan barked at her. "Back in my day you didn't get saving throws! Sorry Ritsu, you're dead, but Mio will probably bite it soon to keep you company."

"Oh drats," I sighed, realizing I had spent my points wrong making my character. I put no points into the skill that let me teleport to allies in danger, and too many points into beekeeping. At least my bountiful supplies of honey had gotten me past the guards. Wait, I remembered something! "Sawa-chan!" I squeaked. "With forty-seven ranks in beekeeping, I can telepathically communicate with my horde of Africanized bees and tell them to help my friends!"

She looked unsure and replied, "I don't know about that Mugi, you have to make a beekeeping check which is... uh... I think a hundred-sided dice, a coin flip, and..." she sighed heavily, "Yui-chan go get the ouija board."

A 67, a tails and a ghostly message telling us to leave later, Sawa-chan threw her hands up and exasperatedly shouted, "Fuck it! Bees! Bees attack the squirrels! Who designed this terrible game!?"

"Hooray!" I happily clapped for myself.

_Don't ever... be... alone... _A scary voice said in my head. I realized I was probably now haunted by ghosts.

"Everyone!" A new voice came, rushing into the clubroom. Why, it was none other than Azusa-chan, coming to remind us she was part of this story, no doubt. She had in her hands a flier for some event, drawn mostly in black marker and red pen. "I found this in the hallway!"

"Azu-nyan!" Yui squealed and ran around the table, past me and bumped right into Scissor-chan. She fell on her face as Azusa-chan approached us. She threw down the piece of paper onto our table, landing right into a condensation ring of a Mountain Dew with only a single sip taken out of it. That could have belonged to anyone.

"Look! A new club!" Azusa-chan panted for breath. "The antithesis of ours, and they don't seem friendly at all!"

"Is Yui-chan alright?" I asked as Yui-chan was slumped on her side groaning in pain. Scissor-chan had not budged an inch.

Ricchan looked over at the paper and snatched it up, "_Heavy Music Club_? Azusa, you're worrying over nothing! Who wants to join a club about heavy music? Everyone in this school is laid back and heavy music is for alcoholic and quasi-suicidal drug addicts."

"She has a point," Mio-chan nodded.

Sawa-chan shrugged, "That club? The transfer student is trying to get it going with her sister, don't worry about it. When you all play your show at the festival, you'll get new members. I think she and her sister want to masturbate with their instruments a bit, but their music is kind of a passing fad. It's fun once in a while but nothing to make a club over."

"Yui-chan?" I prodded Yui-chan's unmoving form.

Azusa-chan frowned, I think, she was out of view, and this story was written in first person. First person was the laziest of all writing styles and anyone who wrote this way deserved a good swat on the head. Anyways, Azusa-chan said, "But look! They said they have a secret reward to anyone who joins. What could it be?"

"Probably black shirts and alcohol," Ricchan replied. For some reason my eyebrows perked up at 'alcohol'.

"You all are worrying too much," Sawa-chan insisted. "It's getting late, and we better wrap up. Good session. Mugi, get your _thing _out of the hardwood."

"Don't worry," I grunted and pulled Scissor-chan out of the hardwood, "You can buffer this out... I uh... think..."

I could see down to the Tea Ceremony club room below through the hole I had created. I picked up Yui-chan and put her over my shoulder with Scissor-chan on my back. I said to the rest, "It was very fun, everyone! I better get home and do all this homework and other things I do alone. I'll get Yui-chan home alright!"

**2**

"_What do you want!?_

_What do you want!?_

_I want rock'n'roll,_

_Yes I do!_

_Long live rock'n'roll!_"

-_Rock of Ages_ by _Def Leppard_

"_Rock of ages, rock of ages... still rollin', still rollin'_..." I quietly sang to myself as I walked through Yui's neighborhood with her unconscious form on my shoulder. I wondered if she was okay, but her quiet humming and gentle singing along to my own singing was indication she was just enjoying not having to walk. I could understand that.

As I was carrying her home and contemplating on the absolute agony my entire back was in, I noticed something peculiar. Why, it was the Himizawa girl, and we were out of school! She was turning onto this street from another and we were about to meet at the intersection. This was a perfect chance to meet her.

"Hello!" I chirped at her, but did not get a response. A barrage of static from her told me she was listening to loud, heavy music. She didn't seem quite approachable,

"Try tapping her shoulder!" Yui-chan suggested, playing with my hair. Having my hair played with made me purr like an ocelot.

_Sell your soul to Satan_, that ghost added.

I walked up behind Himizawa and gently touched her shoulder, she wailed in surprise and spun around, squealing, "Whoa! Oh, it's just you. Why did you sneak up on me!?"

I felt a strange sense of satisfaction of being the surpriser and not the surprisee for once. I didn't mean to upset her though. I responded with a friendly smile and said, "You were listening to music, I'm sorry I frightened you. I'm Kotobuki Tsumugi, we are in the same class. Pleased to meet you, Himizawa-san."

I outstretched my hand and she simply ignored it, and looked at the multiple objects I was hauling with me. Her eyes went from Scissor-chan, Yui-chan, Korg Triton Extreme 76-chan, and back to me. I realized I must have seemed like a character in a video game with an inventory of assorted goodies.

"I'm Yui!" the heaviest item in my inventory introduced herself like a baby sloth hanging from its mother and saying hello to the other sloths.

She bit her lip and looked at us strangely and spoke a little smugly, (very smugly actually, but I don't like criticizing people), "Yeah... it was Sawako-sensei that said I should hang with you and your friends. Said you were in a band?"

I nodded happily, "Why yes we are! Do you play an instrument?"

Himizawa smirked and gave me that same look that made Ricchan uncomfortable from the scary mean girl in _The Forever Night_. "Psh, I'm practically the best guitarist this side of Japan," she boasted with a puff of her chest; not that I was looking. "What do you baby nerds play? _Light music_?"

"Uhh," I said.

"Yep!" Yui-chan acrobatically climbed off of me and my shoulder sighed in relief. "I'm a guitarist too! What kind of stuff do you play?"

Her face darkened, and her index finger and pinky made horns on her hand. "Metal."

"Like _Avenged Sevenfold_?" Yui-chan asked her.

Himizawa stared at her, one eye twitching as blood ran down her nose to her lips. She made a wild and frankly terrifying grin and replied with a shrug, "Me and my sister are playing in our band _Satsugai_ at the culture festival. You'll see then."

"Oh boy!" Yui-chan chirped. "Our band is playing too! I can't wait to see you perform!"

"Likewise," she replied turning away.

Then I remembered something, "Oh! I saw you at _Friendly Local Game Store_, remember? I was the girl you helped out! Look, I bought that scissor thing in a spur of the moment I entirely don't regret."

Himizawa froze in place like I had said something offensive. She looked over her shoulder, bleeding and frowning, "The fuck you talking about you stupid nerd? I wouldn't go into some lame store. Get your head checked."

I stood there shocked as she marched off. Nobody had ever been so belligerently mean to me in my life. I couldn't think of anything to say and watched her stride off, putting headphones in her ears and bobbing her head to what was certainly music for people who wrote fanfiction.

"Are you okay, Mugi-chan?" Yui-chan asked me and put a hand on my shoulder.

"Y-Yeah!" I nodded, lying. I stammered out, "I-I'll see you tomorrow, I need to get home."

We said some quick goodbyes and I went off again on my own, going down the only road I had ever known. I couldn't get her words out of my head, and they played on repeat like the world's most unwanted record player. Why would anyone berate me for just trying to be friendly? I couldn't understand it, but made a note to watch out for her. I didn't want her abusing any of my friends, and my gut was telling me this festival was not going to end very well.

**3**

"_No-one can destroy the metal  
The metal will strike you down with a vicious blow  
We are the vanquished foes of the metal  
We tried to win for why we do not know._"

-_The Metal _by _Tenacious D_

The next day we found ourselves in the clubroom after school, trying to finish those Mountain Dews from the big case we had bought. Each of us followed a ritual where we would take about two sips, gag, and pour the rest out in the sink. In Finland I could handle straight vodka with my cousins and not even flinch, but this stuff was something else. I felt like I needed to brush my teeth after drinking it.

"As we all know," Ricchan said so things could be exposited to the reader, "the cultural festival provides us with the perfect opportunity to drum up new recruits!"

"Or keyboard them up," I smiled while eyes were rolled at my awful joke. I had mostly recovered from yesterday's berating. I wondered why that metal playing girl was so mean. My cousins in Finland listened to _Nightwish_ and weren't mean at all. They were also happy drunks and lived in a perpetual state of being drunk or hungover.

Ricchan continued, "How are our new recruitment posters looking, Azusa?"

Azusa-chan looked miserable, but then again, after drinking this soda, we all did. She gloomily said, "I spent all night making those posters and used up at least ten of those crayons I took home from that diner down the street. Then all morning I put them up, but someone went and tore them all down and replaced them with advertisements for some new club! "

"Wait, what!?" Ricchan the Prez-o-Dent gasped, slamming her fist down and ratting soda cans. "Which club!?"

Mio-chan came into the room from the restroom and went to grab something of hers off the couch. She immediately yelped in surprise and fell. I heard her voice shout, "Who left the scissor sword where someone could trip over it!?"

"Sorry!" I called back. "My bad! Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," she grumbled and stood up. "Azusa, someone tore down your posters and-"

"We know," Azusa-chan and Ricchan said in unison. Yui-chan was was distracted playing the sixth Touhou game on Ricchan's laptop on the easiest setting but still not doing so well.

I spoke up, "It was Himizawa's club, wasn't it?"

Azusa-chan looked at me in surprise, "How did you know?"

"Their name's almost exactly like ours!" Ricchan ranted. "She can't do that! That's copyright infringement!"

Mio-chan answered, "It is if you filled out the copyright form like I told you to. You _did_ fill it out, right?"

Ricchan looked the other way and pouted, "It doesn't matter. What's in a name anyway?"

I finally got a chance to reply, "I met Himizawa, and she isn't particularly nice. I think she's trying to steal our potential recruits for her own club and her band _Satsugai_."

"_Satsugai_?" Ricchan frowned and shook her head. Then blurted out, "Damn it! That's a cool name! Okay, we really gotta show them up in the festival."

"Do we have any ideas?" Mio-chan asked. "Besides just playing really well?"

"We could get naked." I suggested without thinking.

"Not this time," Mio-chan replied. "I don't think there is much we can do except play well and file a formal complaint about our posters being taken down."

Ricchan spoke up again, "Does anyone want to go see what that Heavy Music Club is all about? They sound like rivals, and I want to know what we're up against."

Azusa-chan put her head in her arms and pouted, "I don't want to even think about them."  
Yui-chan and I went to comfort her and she told Azusa-chan, "I can go if you don't want to. The way they ruined your posters was not okay at all!"

I shook my head, "I should do it. I don't want anyone getting near Himizawa, she's a very mean person."

Yui-chan nodded and looked downtrodden, "She said terrible things to Mugi-chan yesterday."

Ricchan flexed her arm to look tough and said, "We should go beat her up then! Nobody picks on Mugi!"

While I was flattered and somewhat aroused by Ricchan's display, I shook my head and exclaimed, "Absolutely not! No violence! Maybe I could just pretend to be interested in their club and see what they're up to. If it's just those two sisters playing their music, then we'll leave them alone."

"It takes four to make a club," Mio pointed out.

"Maybe their friends joined," I reasoned. "Either way, I'm the only one who can play their instrument fast enough pose as a connoisseur of heavier music."

"She's right," Azusa-chan rose her head. "Mugi could just play some piano scales or Bach fast and say she wrote that. Metal fans are too dumb to know the difference."

Ricchan reluctantly agreed, "Okay, Mugi has to be our spy then until I can get those two Iron Cobra pedals and learn double bass."

I smiled at everyone's encouragement but knew Ricchan wouldn't learn how to play fast drums until at least one person in this room was dead and we had moved on to _Feeding a Dream _at least. I replied, "Thank you for all your nice words. I promise I won't let you down!"

"Wait!" Yui-chan blurted out. "Let me come too, I don't want you going in alone!"  
"You can't!" I dramatically gasped. I took her wrists and we looked at one another meaningfully, "You don't even have a distortion pedal!"

"But my amp has a gain setting!" She cried back as we made eye contact. "I can play muted power chords, I swear!"

I looked away, shaking my head, "No... Yui-chan, it's too risky. What if they ask you to play a _Slayer_ or _Metallica _cover!? You're a teenage guitarist, they won't expect anything different!"

"I don't know," she admitted, looking the other way. "All I do know is that I just want to be with you!"

"Yui-chan..."

"Mugi-chan..."

We looked at one another, and the background became sparkles, bubbles, and various shades of pink. I wondered if there would be a saliva trail if we kissed.

"Stop," Mio-chan pulled me away, and Ricchan pulled away Yui-chan before this could escalate.

"I swear," Ricchan grumbled, "every time we try to do something serious you two have to go and make it weird. This is why we never do anything serious."

"You could do something serious with me," Mio-chan said, shyly. That was directed at me and I began to wonder if this story was a fun parody of nerdism and metal or a harem. I was quite okay with the latter.

"Stop that!" Ricchan snapped at her. "This is getting a little too gay for me."

I chuckled and thought about her and me in _The Forever Night_ but realized if I broke the fourth wall one more time I was going to get bad reviews for this story over it. I stepped across the room and picked up Scissor-chan, throwing her over my shoulder with a grunt. I stood heroically and boldly proclaimed, "You can count on me to get to the bottom of this! Because in my scissor sword I trust!"

I quickly turned around and a chorus of shouts came at me.

"_Mugi-chan be careful!_" Shouted Yui-chan.

"_Not the window!_" Shouted Azusa-chan.

"_Watch it!_" Shouted Ricchan.

"_Be careful!_" Shouted Mio-chan.

It was too late, Scissor-chan shattered the window. Their shouts had surprised me and made me drop the piece of metal. It fell out the window, breaking three air-conditioners below it as it fell downwards and sliced a petunia bush in half.

"Oh poodle socks," I sighed and looked down at the window. I looked at the rest, "I can pay for this!"

I rushed downstairs to the ground level and retrieved Scissor-chan who had not received a scratch, then left one of Daddy's business cards there so they knew who to bill. Luckily on the ground floor was the Heavy Music clubroom, so I could go there right after. On their door was a poster for a band called _Carcass_. Already I did not feel super confident about this. I felt even less confident when I saw a handwritten sign that said, "_Only active Saturday evenings. Come next Saturday to discuss how we will crush the Light Music Club!_"

"Well, butts!" I heaved in frustration. "Nobody crushes my club if I have anything to say about it! Himizawa, you messed with the wrong passive aggressive keyboardist!"

**To Be Continued**

_**(Author's Notes/Other Silly Shit- **__I am having a blast writing this, and I hope people are enjoying reading it. I'm hitting hard with the references to my other works, but I've been fucking doing this for nearly five years now on this site so I feel like I need to indulge in that slightly. I just want to write a story where I can have stupid shit and references and not have to worry about making it good. This is stress free and I can write a chapter in an afternoon._

_Leave a review if you want, if not I won't be heartbroken. After _Bringing the Dawn_ and the absolutely fucking catastrophe and failure that turned out to be I really don't even care anymore._


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